A poem about the highland cow

and the inability to function for the rest of the day

I would like to be eaten raw 

to be eaten whole with every nerve intact

I would like to feel anything other than the sharp pain that has taken place in the root of my stomach.

I would like to forget the way I feel 

I would like to stop thoughts running through my mind 

I would like to be desired and I would like to be enough I would like to be

shooting an arrow into the darkness I’m embarrassed to say I think I’ve missed. I’m embarrassed to think about the string that I’ve drawn back I’m embarrassed to dwell on the curvature of my hand of the build of my fingernails of the color of my skin. I’m embarrassed I even tried at all and even though we all die in the end and even though it hurts to carry around my mistakes or my desire to be desired: life is unfair. Kill yourself or get over it.